Broken hearts
by dreamland4
Summary: Lancelot returns and Arthur's heart breaks...who will Guinevere choose? I own nothing.


**Comments: This one brings Lancelot back in the mix, it was just a thought I had and I hope you like it. Thanks for reviewing.**

Right then and there his heart broke as Lancelot's mouth contacted Guinevere's, he could not stand to watch anymore and walked away. Each step further away, he wanted to turn back in hope that it was a bad dream, but he knew it was not.

He made his way quickly through the corridor and finally made it to his chambers, he closed the heavy wooden door, leaned against it and cried out in pain. His heart had broken, his hope lost; he thought that death could take him now and it would be a relief from what he felt inside. His fears had finally come true, Lancelot had returned and she had welcomed him with open arms.

The tears fell down his face and stained the floor, his throat hurt and he couldn't breathe...something had died in him just now and he knew it was his heart.

When Merlin found out what had happened he made his way to Arthur's chambers, the door was locked, but from the other side he could hear his cries. He wanted to go and comfort him, but Arthur would not open up to him, so instead he whispered a spell that would allow his anguish to not be heard by passersby.

_**An hour before**_

As Guinevere walked towards the castle a basket of flowers in her hand, she saw him and the basket of flowers dropped to the floor.

His dark brown hair and weathered good looks, she would recognize everywhere. As if she had walked into a dream Lancelot grabbed her and kissed her passionately; his mouth crashed against hers, but something was wrong, the taste, the feel, the smell and then she woke up from the dream and pushed him off her.

"LANCELOT!" she reprimanded him, her lips still swollen.

He looked a little guilty "Gwen, I am sorry....I missed you" his arms went around her waist.

She immediately pushed them off and straightened her dress, she looked around her and the crowds had gathered to witness this unexpected meeting.

She picked up her flowers and walked away from him, away from the castle and Arthur's eyes, he followed her of course.

She finally stopped at the edge of the lower town and faced him. She could see it in his eyes a look of confusion, had he really expected to just come here and pick up where they left off?

"Gwen, I am sorry for any embarrassment caused...I just could not seem to help it" he leaned into her again, as if drawn to her lips.

She shook her head, Lancelot was a very handsome man and at one stage she cared for him, even loved him...but now..

"Gwen will you not speak" he pleaded, he reached out and touched her cheek.

"Why did you come here?" her voice was higher than normal and she tried not to concentrate on his brown eyes and looked down.

"I came back for you" he leaned closer his breath tickling her lips.

"You left me, what made you change our mind?" she took a few steps back from him.

She watched as he now leaned against the wall and sighed "I left because of him, don't think me a fool to not notice how you looked at each other....I could not compete with a prince, he could provide you with everything I could not"

Gwen took a few deep breaths and faced him "Do you really think material things matter to me? I am a servant, I am not used to such luxuries...why are you back?"

He moved towards her, hope now filling his eyes "I could not keep away, my heart has ached since the day I left and your words became my only hope"

He answered her confused look "As long as I live my feelings for you will never change" he smiled at the words and she could see that those words had become a lifeline for him and her heart broke.

"Lancelot" her words were soft, he reached out and placed his hand on her cheek.

"Gwen...marry me, let us leave this place" her eyes filled up with tears as she looked at him, so many nights when she met him, she dreamed of those words coming from his lips and now they were a burden.

"I cannot" she could see it in his eyes, he still did not lose hope.

"Then we can stay here and marry" he smiled and leant in to kiss her lips, she pulled back.

"Please, I cannot because..." she moved away from him, he heard her take some deep breaths "Why did you come back?"

"I heard that Arthur was to marry another, a Princess Vivian, I rode out immediately" he turned her to face him.

"Marry me Gwen, I will give you a good life...I have money" he lifted up a small sack of gold to show her.

"Lancelot, please I cannot marry you... I care for you, but my feelings for you have changed" she could feel his heart rip as he took in her words.

"Is it Arthur?" he spoke softly his hand now dropped to his side.

"Yes" she looked away from him.

"He is marrying another Gwen"

"No...he is not marrying Vivian" a pang of jealousy went through her.

Lancelot's smile was long gone, instead his feelings now glistened in his eyes. "But you cannot be?"

She shook her head, tears now forming in her eyes "I know...but none the less I will be by his side until that day...I am sorry" The truth is, if Lancelot would not have left that night, she would have gone with him and married him. But she would have always thought of Arthur and her heart would always have wondered_ 'what if_'.

"He will hurt you?"

"I know" she knew one day someone more worthy would steal his heart, but her fate seemed to be to stand on the sidelines and watch the story unfold.

She watched as he stood taller "Then I shall wait for that day".

"Lancelot...you cannot..." he stopped her words, with one simple kiss.

"I love you Gwen and I will not give up hope" he rubbed her cheek "Arthur, is a fool if he does not tear this kingdom down for you" she could not believe this man, he was honourable, kind, everything she should go for, he was too good for her.

"Thank you...where will you go?" she leant up and kissed him on the cheek.

He half laughed, his heart breaking "I won't be far"

She just nodded a tear falling down her cheek, he would be there for her no matter what.

"Now go...before I pick you up and carry you off" he smiled and she slowly walked away.

Lancelot leaned against the wall and a tear fell down his cheek.

Gwen felt numb, today had been hard on her....she needed to see Arthur, just to lay her eyes on him to remind her why she had just let Lancelot go.

She walked to the training grounds, the Knights were there, but no Arthur...she was just about to go to his chambers when she bumped into Merlin, who looked a little upset.

"Merlin" she watched as he looked down, a look of disappointment on his face.

"Gwen"

"What's that matter?" she reached out and touched his arm, causing him to look at her.

"Lancelot's back then?" he liked Lancelot, but he did not like the pain it caused Arthur.

Gwen looked surprised "Yes...but he has gone now"

Merlin gave a shocked look "Gone as in..."

"Gone...left, no longer in Camelot" she finished his sentence for him.

Merlin groaned "You and he are not together?"

"No..what is this all about?" concern now filling her voice, Merlin was acting very strange.

"Arthur saw you"

Gwen's mouth dropped open "Saw me?".

"Kissing" he watched as Gwen's shocked expression, turned to sadness.

"Where is he?" she needed to sort this out.

"Locked in his room, he won't see you" she walked away, not bothering to say goodbye....she would see him, even if she had to break the door down.

It didn't take long to make it to his chamber door, she knocked hard, no answer....she knocked again "Sire...it's Guinevere" no response.

She banged he hand against the door, she felt terrible, "Arthur please".

She needed to see him, before he distanced himself from her for good. An idea popped into her head, she knew a back way into his chambers, she had discovered by accident years ago. She set off down the corridor, upstairs through secret doors and finally she pushed the little panel and came into his chambers. She found him staring out of the window.

"Arthur" she approached carefully, she watched as his body tensed up.

"Please leave" he didn't turn around.

"Please let me explain" she got closer.

"Guinevere...go" he just wanted to be left alone, why could she just not leave him alone. She had done enough damage, if he saw her now... he could not stand it.

"Lancelot" she heard him groan. "What you saw today it was...."

"ENOUGH" he shouted and he finally turned around, when he did her heart broke. His once perfect blue eyes were red from crying.

"Arthur" she reached out to him and he withdrew his arm.

"GET OUT" he shouted and his words stung her, he didn't want to look at her every again, it just hurt too much.

She needed to tell him, he was mistaken "NO...not until you stop acting this way and listen to me" she stood firm her arms crossed.

He matched her stance "GET OUT or I will have you _THROWN OUT_!" his eyes were now wild.

"STOP BEING AN IDIOT, I am trying to explain" wrong use of words, he just flipped.

"AN IDIOT!....AN IDIOT?" he knocked the table over in anger.

She could not back down, not matter the consequences "YES...IF you let me explain, you will understand..."

He half laughed at her "OH I think I _understand _perfectly well... so stop wasting my time, I should have known you would go crawling back to him"

He glared at her and her heart broke "Crawling back to him?" she shook her head.

"NOW GET OUT...I have more important things to be doing" he spat his words out.

"I am sorry I hurt you....please let me explain"

His eyes grew dark "Why would I care what you get up to...after all you are _just a servant_ and I am a prince... NOW GET OUT!"

Tears fell from her eyes as he grabbed her by the arm and forced her out of the room and slammed the door in her face.

He leaned against the back of his door and tears escaped from his eyes again.

She walked down the corridor numb, he treated her as if she was nothing....the walls came crumbling down and she ran home, tears streaming down her eyes.

The next few days were unbearable, Arthur refused to talk to anyone and Gwen took a few days off 'sick'.

Merlin finally got chance to talk to Arthur. "You are a prat"

Arthur whipped around and grabbed him by the collar "Say another word and I will kill you"

He thought about it, but knew he had to sort this out "She rejected him, for you" Merlin had spent hours talking and consoling Gwen and he knew everything that happened.

Arthur raised his hand to hit him and Merlin closed his eyes ready for pain. He opened one eye as the expected fist, never made contact. Arthur looked confused so he continued on.

"He asked Gwen to marry him, she said no, that she loved you" he didn't use Lancelot's name, that would be a bit too risky.

Arthur let Merlin go.

"She said no" he whispered.

"Yes, she tried to tell you but you wouldn't let her"

Arthur banged his head against the wall groaning "She kissed him?"

"No he kissed her" another groan could be heard from Arthur.

"I have ruined it...I said..." he couldn't finish his sentence.

"You were a prat?" Merlin offered as he handed him his cloak.

"Yes" he admitted, how could he make up for what he said to her.

"Now go" Merlin smiled and off Arthur went.

He knocked on her door, no answer. He tried the handle and the door creaked as it opened, he found her sitting in front of the fire, her eyes red from tears, she briefly looked at him...and then turned away.

He closed the door and stood near her "Guinevere I..."

"Don't" she had gone the last few days from regret for hurting him, to realising she should have gone with Lancelot. He was right, she was not good enough for him.

She heard him sigh and he came and kneeled down in front of her, her red eyes breaking his heart. "I thought you had chosen him" she looked away from him. He wished he found it easier with words, he closed his eyes and hoped they would come "When I saw you kissing him, I thought I had lost you....the words I spoke after that were not the truth, but spoken out of anger and heartache"

His hand carefully reached up to touch hers and she finally spoke "You didn't fight for me, you just closed off" she didn't mean that she wanted him to hit Lancelot, but he didn't even try....he just let her go.

"How could I, he is a much better man than me" she finally looked at him, his eyes sparkled with honesty.

"If that were true, I would be with him now" he picked up her hand and placed it to his lips.

"I have been a fool Guinevere...a broken hearted fool" he closed his eyes and held her hand tight to his lips "Forgive me?"

"The words you spoke before were the truth, I am not good enough for you" a tear ran down her face and he rubbed it away with his fingers.

"You are too good for me" the fire crackled and a silence passed between them.

"If we are to make this journey, you need to be able to talk to me...not close me out, every time something bothers you. What happened with Lancelot, I am sorry for, but believe me I did not ask for the contact or welcome it" she reached out and touched his soft skin.

"When I saw his lips on yours...." he shook his head and she leaned closer to him.

"Please Arthur"

"Did you...did it feel?" he needed to know, if she enjoyed kissing him. That thought had driven him mad over the last few days.

"It felt wrong" she kissed him lightly on the lips.

"The thought of losing you....it hurts" he hated how weak it made him sound, but she did, she weakened him and also made him stronger at the same time.

"Then, don't lose me then....give me a reason to stay" he lifted up so he was at her level and he claimed her mouth, marking it his territory...these lips were his and his alone and no one else would take them ever again, no matter what it took.

They ended up lying in front of the fire, her body pressed against his hard chest. "He asked you to marry him?" she didn't look at him, she just watched the dancing fire.

"Yes"

He placed a kiss on her head... one day he would ask her, in fact when the dust settled on this fiasco, he would find a way to make her his wife sooner rather than later. Nearly losing her was a pain he could not bare to repeat; he would now do whatever it took to secure their future.


End file.
